The Random Thinker

Yesterday.  All my troubles seemed so far away.  I had my entire life ahead of me.  My children would jump up and down and get really happy when I came home from work.  They would run to me and hop up in my arms.  And life was good.

Then I blinked my eyes, and one walked across a stage to receive her Bachelor of Science degree.  And the other … He is ready to walk across a stage for his high school diploma.  And, it seems like only yesterday when he would hop up in my lap just to spend time with me.  He could barely walk, but he sure could hop up in my lap.  Where has the time gone???

Yesterday (the LITERAL day) was awesome.  And one of the hardest days of my life.  As I prepared for the Baccalaureate Service at EBC, I couldn’t help but realize who those graduates were.  Those graduates hold a piece of my heart, and they have since the beginning of my ministry at Ebenezer.

When we moved here almost 18 years ago, Drew was one month old.  And most of those kids that walked down the aisle in their caps and gowns were babies.  Just babies.  And I have watched most of those children grow up at EBC.   Keith Pettigrew and I have coached them in basketball, some of them in baseball.  Diana and I have cheered them on in many other sports.  These kids are like my own children.  And I love them that way, too!!

If ever there was a class that I personally KNOW Ebenezer has impacted in a positive way, this is it.  And here is something I could’ve NEVER said yesterday:  As a parent, I am SOOOO thankful for everything Ebenezer has done to prepare my son for the next step in his life.  From the Nursery, Sunday School, Children’s Church, RAs, and every aspect of Youth Ministry, there have been many hands that have shaped my son into the man he has become.  And I am thankful for every one of them!!  (And I know every parent in that room yesterday feels the same way)

I cannot see these kids as babies anymore.  They are young men and women.  And many of them are ALREADY making a tremendous impact on this world for the Kingdom of God.  And, life is GOOD!!!

Many of you Ebenezerites know her voice… She has answered the phones at Ebenezer for over 16 years now.  Mary Todd is more than a part of our church staff … She is my family.  And I will miss her working in our office.

Mary came to Ebenezer in January of 1997.  I had not quite been here two years as Minister of Youth.  We quickly learned that Mary was actually Marion County Royalty:  EVERYONE over there knew her father, Albert Courie, who had an appliance store on Main Street.  He brought the first television to Marion.  He was more than that:  He served in the US Army in WW2 and afterward was an integral part of the SC National Guard.  Everyone I know from there now knows her sister and brother-in-law, Ken and Margaret Baker.  But Mary doesn’t need the family ties to define her .. She is quite capable of doing that herself.

When Mary came to work with us, we quickly learned that she was really good at her job:  Good at reading people.  Good at handling issues and helping people when she could.  Good at running interference when we needed it.  She was a natural in her role.  We also learned what Kevin (her son) meant when he called her “Scary Mary.”  (I am thankful I was never on the business end of the scary part)

Mary will be missed in our office.  A few months ago, doctors starting running tests on her and discovered a small mass.  Two surgeries later, they feel they got it all, but have prepared her for the fight of her life:  She will undergo chemotherapy and radiation.  And she has to put all of her energy into that fight.  So, she regrettably resigned her post.  We did not want to see her go… Especially with this reason … But, she needs her strength for her fight.

Will she have enough strength for this battle???  YES!!  Because when she feels like she is running low, I’ll give her some of mine … Ed will give her some of his … Pam will give her some of hers … Andi will give her some of hers … Dusty will give her some of hers … Kitty will give her some of hers … Lisa will give her some of hers … Edwin will give her some of his … Billy will give her some from California … Omerea, Michelle, and the Weekday crew will send some up the hall to her … and Tory will bat cleanup, and give her plenty!!!  And that list of those who are putting their strength with Mary and Roy in this fight GOES ON AND ON.

Because we are family.  And that is what family does.  As I write this, Mary is taking her FIRST chemo treatment.  Doctors have prepared her that this will be a long road and a serious undertaking.  And I am helping her out right now.

How, you might ask???  I am praying that GOD will give her some of His strength.  Because, the truth is, that is ALL WE CAN DO and THAT IS EXACTLY ENOUGH.  His strength is perfect and plenty!!!

Pray for my big sister, Mary Todd!!!  Thanks!

Yes, I’m calling ALL dads out.  Again.  I wish all of you could’ve heard Chris Wells last Thursday.  He welcomed all to our Wild Game Supper, but made no bones about the fact that he was talking to men as he preached.  Why??

Dad, if YOU lead your family to the throne, the chances of your children doing the same is very high.  Over 80%.  Now, when I write “lead them to the throne” I mean more than just coming to church or bringing them and coming back to pick them up.  In fact, going to church is only a PART of leading them to His throne.  When I write this, I mean you take seriously your relationship with Christ.  You live by faith and not by sight.  And NOT that you brainwash your kids to do this (because that would do them NO GOOD AT ALL), but that you show them by how you live your life that God is real and His promises are true.  Because they ARE watching.

Due to the vast number of funerals we’ve had at Ebenezer and for family members of those who attend Ebenezer, I am reminded that there will be a day when people will gather around a casket and view my remains.  Hopefully that day is FAR, FAR away.  But still, it will happen.  And I wonder what they will say about me??  Not that I desire accolades, but everyone wants to be remembered as someone who treated people well.  But what I am really concerned with is how my children will remember me.  How my wife will remember me.  They know me far better than anyone else.  Do they see the reality of the power of God in my life???

If they don’t, I am not doing my job.  NOT AS A PASTOR, but as a husband and a dad.

Hey Dad!!  They really are watching … What do they see?

This is not a Father’s Day post.  Nor is it a present.  Or, maybe it is …

I sit here in Garden City alone right now.  I am the only one awake (as usual).  This is the FIRST day of our week in which I actually see the sun peeking through the sliding glass door.  We might actually get warm today!!  But, there is something missing …

That “something” is the reason I woke up at 7:20 on a vacation day (I am one of those that once I am awake, it’s all over). That one thing … one person … is my oldest!!  Krissy is doing an internship with the Greenville Hospital System in June and July, so we do not have her at the beach.  And, it’s not right!!

Yeah, I know:  She is now a senior at Clemson.  This was bound to happen sooner or later.  But I wish it had been later!!  And I am reminded of something I’ve always been told and now I must tell YOU, DADS:  You’d better be making memories with your kids.  Because, one day, those will be all you have!!!

Yeah, DAD, I am calling YOU out.  The only way you can make memories with your kids is to BE A PART OF THEIR LIVES.  In a MAJOR WAY.  Money and stuff are great, but they mean NOTHING to a kid who has a dad but he is not part of their lives.  I know kids who’ve already lost their dad … and they would give ANYTHING for more time.  That is what they remember and that is what they want!!  NOT STUFF!!  And, likewise, I know adults who have lost a child.  And they all say the same thing!!

MAKE MEMORIES, DAD!!  However you can!  It will be the only thing that helps you keep your sanity one day when you miss your kid like crazy!  Trust me …

There are some good things about my injury.  In a strange and amazing way, it pulls our family closer together.  A perfect example of that would be the Great Hot Water Heater Catastrophe of 2012!!

We have a two-car garage, yet we park our cars outside.  Why, you ask??  Because our garage is basically a big storage unit. There are toys, furniture, and other things in our garage.  So imagine our surprise when the hot water heater tank rusted out and was running like a waterfall on Monday afternoon??  You guessed it, we had to pull all of that stuff out of the garage before we could even get to the heater.

So there we were … looking like the Clampetts.  Some of our neighbors got whiplash as they drove by and whipped their necks over to see.  Two or three stopped to ask us if we were having a yard sale!!  (SOON … soon)  One church member stopped and asked if we were moving!!  (Not sure how to take that)

But, in every way, we had to work as a team.  All four of us.  Even as we removed the old heater and put the new one up on the stand.  As we plumbed it and connected the gas.  As it filled up.  In every way, it was a team effort.  And after we cleaned up and put it all back, all four of us were absolutely worn out!!  Even Bailey, who got to stay outside all afternoon, was tired!!

And, as much as I hated that happening (and HATED to write a check for the replacement), it was good to work together with my family!!!

Saturday morning we got up … ate breakfast … and waited.  Waited for the caravan of cars to go back to Del Rio.  Then, in a strange twist, the caravan left us.  Long story.  But we made our way back on our own!!  (All I need is Mr iPhone!!!)

We actually beat the caravan back by about an hour, since they stopped for pizza.  Here is where the Omni Colonnade part of the story starts …  Yes, the great Omni Colonnade of San Antonio, where I shall NEVER stay again!!!  Our issues started last Tuesday when Diana was trying to make sure Mom and Dad had a wheelchair-accessible room.  The rocket scientists that work there kept transferring our call to the national reservation hotline, who told us we HAD to talk to the local folks and would transfer us back.  After the local folks picked up and hung up on us twice, we decided to wait a day or two.  On Friday, Diana called and finally convinced them to talk to us and NOT transfer us back to the national folks.  She made the necessary arrangements and even got Mom and Dad a noon check-in time.  We thought we were set!

We arrived at the Omni at 2pm.  Mom and Dad’s room wasn’t ready, but ours was!  If not for the handicap accessible room, we would’ve camped them in that one.  But we waited for the room that was supposed to be better set-up for the wheelchair.  And we waited.  And we waited.  And 3pm check-in time came.  And we waited.  No room.  No room until 4pm.  And it wasn’t even wheelchair friendly!!!  By that time, Mom and Dad were so tired it didn’t matter to them.

Long story short, we got settled in and went out for supper.  When we got back … went to bed .. went to breakfast early Sunday morning.  Then found out that Jake’s cousin had been ROBBED!!  Well, at least his room was … Someone took his MacBook Pro, his iPad, and his iPhone from his room.  It seemed like an inside job, but the front desk reminded that no one really knows who got it.  The police came out, filed a report, and that was all.  Housekeeping was in our rooms after we left for supper, because they left a little something in each room.  I thank God no one took my MacBook Pro or my iPad, which was charging and in plain sight.  Moral of this paragraph and the last:  DO NOT STAY AT THE OMNI COLONNADE IN SAN ANTONIO.  (Ironically, Diana had read a story about the exact same thing happening to another person a few weeks ago at the same hotel on the web.  Staying there wasn’t our choice … )

We left our hotel, ran downtown, did the high-speed self-tour of the Alamo, and got to the airport.  Once again, the US Air folks were great.  TSA left a little to be desired.  We got back to Charlotte and found it cold, rainy, and 40 degrees.  We got Mom and Dad loaded back up, on I-85 South, and we headed home!!

In the five days of this trip, I flew over 2,200 miles and drove over 800.  I’m tired!!

Yesterday was the formal graduation.  We went to the base early, to the Rudolph Anderson Hall … (Rudolph Anderson was a U-2 pilot shot down during the Cold War.  He was also a native of Greenville, SC!!)  There, Jake won three awards:  Highest scores in the pilot aspect of training, best officer, and he was one of two distinguished graduates.  I smell a career if he wants it.

Afterward, we went out to the flight line where my sister and her ex pinned his wings on him.  We took tons of pictures and we were done!!  FOR THE DAY!!  And it was 1pm!  There was a formal dinner last night, but my sister knew better than to let my dad (or ME for that matter) attend … No Clampetts allowed!!  We had lunch so late that mom and dad didn’t want to go anywhere last night.  I went to Wendy’s drive-thru at their request.  So, that left Diana and me to explore the nightlife of Del Rio!

Off we drove, into the wild dark yonder, driving fast through the terrain …  And wishing the van was armored.  Remember, we are about 1.5 miles from the border.  The hotel clerk recommended a place for my trusty iPhone took us there.  No dice.  Had Diana allowed me to bring my gun, maybe … but no dice without it.  We then hit the Urban Spoon app on my iPhone and found a place that got good reviews and high ratings.  But it was off the beaten path …

Ponchos!  It was a family owned and operated restaurant.  (Do NOT confuse this with the chain in New Orleans and other cities that is an all-you-can-eat Mexican place.  DEFINITELY NOT that one!!)  This restaurant was the authentic Tex-Mex we’ve been looking for.  And I think Mexican food is now ruined for me …  It was THAT good!!

Today, we drive back to San Antonio and basically wait on our flight tomorrow …  Would love to see the Alamo and Riverwalk.  Gonna try!!

We got up yesterday and immediately set out for Del Rio, which was almost a 3 hour drive from San Antonio.  I drove on yet ANOTHER segment of US-90, which runs from Florida to Japan (probably) and is the road New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary is on.

This segment of 90 is kind of barren and brushy.  Texans have assured me this is NOT a good sampling of what Texas really looks like.  I write this to you now about 1.5 miles from the Mexican border.  This is an interesting place, to say the least.

On the drive down there were two fascinating road signs.  One of them said “Welcome to Hondo, Texas. This is God’s country.  Don’t drive like hell through it!”  The other, in the middle of nowhere, said: “Do Not pick up hitchhikers … They are escaping inmates.”  It was a serious sign and a sobering reminder we were driving past a prison …

Anyway, Drew and I got to go spend some time in a couple of simulators.  I’ve got to say the USAF has the COOLEST COMPUTERS!!!  Then we all attended a “Retiring of the Colors” ceremony.  There I had an unexpected surprise:  I had to remind Dad that he is unable to stand when decorum would require standing out of respect for the American Flag.  He understood.  When they played “Retreat” and then the National Anthem, Dad sat up as straight as he could and held a salute the entire time.  I really wish I could’ve taken a picture, but I refuse to disrespect our flag like that.  But it was a special moment, and one I won’t forget.

After a reception at the Officer’s Club and most of us going to a restaurant in town (I came all the way to Del Rio, TX to eat at CHILI’S!!!), the day was over and we all collapsed in bed.  The end!

Why is it a mega-journey??  We’ve never tried to do anything remotely like this with Dad since he’s been in the wheelchair.  And, all things considered, the folks at US Air earned their money yesterday!! They basically transferred Dad from his wheelchair to a rolling stool and rolled him in and out of the plane.  Dad really wasn’t able to help much with the transfer … But between the US Air guys and Drew, we made it happen.

So, now I sit in one of THREE different hotels I’ll be in for this trip.  We make our way to Del Rio in a few hours and the graduation festivities begin today.  Informal stuff today, formal stuff tomorrow.  Hoping Mom and Dad are up to this!!

Life is full of them … If you are LIVING life, you will face challenges.  Tests of your mettle.  Opportunities to succeed or fail.  And if you are running from those, you are running from life itself.

I look at where both of my children are in life, and they both face great challenges.  And they seem to face them well:  With resolve and faith.  Don’t get me wrong:  I know my kids aren’t perfect.  But they both are in places in life where the challenges are coming and they are stepping up to the plate. They are, and many of their friends are in the same places and doing the same things!  And that’s good!