Huck and Chuck

I don’t really know much about Mike Huckabee, presidential candidate. But I DO know all about Chuck Norris. And Chuck did a video with Huck to endorse him for president. You can find it at Mike Huckabee’s website, and it is really funny.

So, to bring you up to speed, I will post some Chuck Norris jokes to help prepare you for this video if you choose to go and watch it!

-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
-Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
-Jawbreakers were originally in the shape of Chuck Norris’ fist.
-Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
-Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
-Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn’t submitted them to the site because he doesn’t believe in any form of submission.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
-When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.
-Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
-Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
-Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
-Chuck Norris crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.
-They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Chuck Norris. He doesn’t have to.
-Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
-Jeeves asks Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
-Chuck Norris has only one hand: the upper hand.
-The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow down.
-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

(All of these jokes are posted in honor of Hunter Gregg)