The Random Thinker

Lately it seems I’ve had several folks asking me if I’ve been tweeting or posting about them, or that they are concerned about my tweets/posts.  And they are serious.   Am I angry with them??  With a group??  Have I lost my mind??  Did I leave the iron on???  Stuff like that.  Well, here goes:

Honestly, when I submit a post on Twitter or on my blog, it is usually coming straight from the heart and mind.  (That also explains typos and grammatical problems!!)  Maybe that’s not always the best thing to do.  But I want my blog posts and tweets to be honest, with only necessary filters.  Maybe I’m wrong in this, but that is my personal thought about social media.

I have been more careful lately and am trying to filter a little more, but I don’t want to remove the personal glimpse.  I hope that’s ok with everyone.  If I’m not going to be honest with it (within the limits of what my ministry will allow) then I probably need to stop doing it!!

With all of that said, if you read my previous blog post, you will see that I’m making a commitment in every aspect of my life to NOT GIVE the devil ROOM TO WORK IN ANYTHING THAT I SAY OR DO.  I hope you’ll join me in that … Even in what we say or do behind closed doors!!!!

I went back to Dr. Mezzanotte yesterday for a check-up.  Everything went fine.  He said the x-rays looked good and the progress did, too.  He hasn’t talked about joint replacement in the last few visits.  Told me I am in maintenance mode and perhaps he will go in a year or two into my elbow to clean things out.  We’ve made progress beyond what we expected and therapy is still making progress.  It was a good visit.

As he finished, he told me again that my elbow was pretty messed up.  He doesn’t see them like that too often. And, ironically, he has a patient right now who has TWO elbows as messed up as my left was.  Understanding HIPPA laws, I asked if he could get permission for me to go see the guy.  He’s having a hard time dealing with this.  Honestly, I never expected to hear back.  But I did!!

Today when I do my hospital visits, I’ll get to go see this man.  And I don’t know what God has in store for this, but maybe this is God making something good come out of something really bad that happened to me over five months ago …

Riding in to work this morning, I saw a sign … A church sign that read something like this:  “Your pain touches God’s heart.”  WOW!!  True, and it sparked my thought process a little …

What pain do I really have???  I’d been thinking about this earlier this morning.  The pain a pastor feels is very unique.  And all across the spectrum.  Walking through the pain of death with church families you love.  Counseling through the pain of broken relationships.  Feeling sharp pain for a close friend who is in the crosshairs.  The pain of disease and suffering.  The list could go on.  (NOW, there is also GREAT JOY in this calling, too!!!  But the joy doesn’t leave scars)

And then, add to it the fact I’m a middle child.  So I have this massive fault in that I want everyone to be happy.  And, in a Southern Baptist church, that AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN.  I feel this pain for my family, who walk through my pain with me and can do NOTHING about it because I handcuff them.  I pray everyday that none of this will scar my children, that they will grow up to be vibrant, active KINGDOM BUILDERS for GOD!!  It’s most unfair for my wife.  She is the perfect partner for me, and she feels my pain like no one else.

And just when I think I could go buy a cake for this pity party, God steps in and reminds me:

• HE LOVES ME
• HE WILL NEVER FORSAKE ME
• LIFE IS FULL OF PAIN FOR EVERYONE, NOT ONLY PASTORS
• OUR FIGHT IS NOT WITH FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT WITH THE POWERS OF DARKNESS IN THIS WORLD
• IF I TRUST THE HOLY SPIRIT, I WILL KNOW HE IS ALREADY AT WORK FOR ME INTERCEDING ON MY BEHALF AT GOD’S VERY THRONE

So my pain, be it ever so vain or prideful, really does touch the heart of God.  And so does yours!!

This morning I realized it was 20 years ago this week that I left my job in computer programming to pursue God’s call into full-time ministry.  Krissy was 9 months old when I returned to school to finish my bachelor’s degree, first at North Greenville College and then at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary.  That was a scary time for Diana & me.  God promised to look out for us, and even THIS WEEK He still makes good on His promise!!!  As I look back I see His hand in it all!!!  And I will always be thankful and grateful!!!

I could write about this for days … And when I think about it, I already have.  That’s what this blog is all about!!!!

I was in an impromptu discussion of something yesterday and I heard the words … Words I never want to hear again.  “How will we keep the floors clean (if we do that)??”  The scar was more tender than I ever thought it would be twenty years later …

April, 1991, was a painful time in my life.  I witnessed a vibrant ministry of my home church shut down in it’s prime.  The Christian school that had been open for over 20 years was suddenly closed by a new pastor in my home church.  When I went and asked him why, his answer was “we can’t have all those kids running around in our halls and dirtying up the floors.  We’ve got to make ourselves attractive to ‘church shoppers.'”  (That is an EXACT QUOTE.  I will never forget it.)

When I finally answered God’s call, part of what the Holy Spirit put on my heart was to NEVER be that pastor.  I could almost verbally hear God say “I’ve got plenty of men like that.  I need one like YOU.”  In hindsight, that was actually a good thing for me to hear because it revealed his true character to me.

Long story shortened, I think we’ve worked through the questions of yesterday.  And, as long as we have mops and I have one good arm, I will fight to keep viable ministries going.  Even if I have to mop it myself with my one good arm!!!!