One Pastor's Perspective

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

And, remember . . . This is probably what your turkey looked like before . . . well, you know. (Cuz ALL turkeys wear hats like that!)

I don’t really know much about Mike Huckabee, presidential candidate. But I DO know all about Chuck Norris. And Chuck did a video with Huck to endorse him for president. You can find it at Mike Huckabee’s website, and it is really funny.

So, to bring you up to speed, I will post some Chuck Norris jokes to help prepare you for this video if you choose to go and watch it!

-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
-Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
-Jawbreakers were originally in the shape of Chuck Norris’ fist.
-Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
-Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
-Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn’t submitted them to the site because he doesn’t believe in any form of submission.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
-When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.
-Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
-Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
-Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
-Chuck Norris crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.
-They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Chuck Norris. He doesn’t have to.
-Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
-Jeeves asks Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
-Chuck Norris has only one hand: the upper hand.
-The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow down.
-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

(All of these jokes are posted in honor of Hunter Gregg)

THAT is the number of this post . . . I have posted to this blog over 300 times now in the 16 months I have posted here to blogger . . . WOW. I need a real job. (You KNOW that pastors only work on Sundays and Wednesdays)

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and it reminded me of another underestimated profession in our community . . . Being a principal. Principals are much like pastors: They have a TON of people to answer to, they are held accoutable when things go bad (but seldom thanked when things go well). They have volunteer staffs as well as employees to deal with, and they have to be all things to all people. They have to be tough, kind, fair, understanding, just, and they have to take a stand when no one else will and face the heat and storms (that is why they get paid the “big bucks.”) And their work ofted goes unthanked.

And, WE can help this situation: IF you have a child in school, THANK YOUR PRINCIPAL THIS WEEK for one of the hardest jobs around.

We talk about the Ebenezer graveyard, but do you realize there are MANY Civil War veterans buried there?? (And, at least ONE Revolutionary War vet that I know of). A man e-mailed me a few weeks ago wanting to know who from his list was buried at Ebenezer. About 60% of his list was indeed in our cemetary. He is doing research on his ancestry and needed all of the information we have on these men.

This happens a lot at Ebenezer and I think it is cool. If we can help someone looking for their family history, that is a great thing and a responsibility we have as a church about to celebrate her 230 birthday.

Too tired to write . . . Will just post this link to the latest sermon . . .

Excellence and Innocence

That is what the FLC looked like after Wed. Night Bible Study. There were probably close to 100 people setting up the 43 tables and countless booths in preparation for our annual Holiday Ladies Dinner. It was truly a sight to behold! They were all working hard and seemed to be working in rhythm . . .

Tonight there will be over 400 people (including the fellows, who wait tables tonight) in our FLC to hear Melodie Griffin. As always, TONIGHT will be the really awesome spectacle!

I had one of THOSE phone calls this weekend . . . One no pastor ever wants to get. No names, but a young lady called me to let me know her young husband was in the ER at one of our hospitals with a possible heart attack. Was this serious?? DIDN’T I SAY HEART ATTACK! Any time my phone rings at 3:30 in the morning, it is serious . . .

Headed up there to pray with them and do whatever I could do. This is not an unusual thing for any pastor . . . What I saw in the next hour was. As I sat there with her and her mother-in-law, slowly the men from their Sunday School class began to show up. AT 4 AM!!! By the time we got the news that he was doing well and they were able to take care of everything in the Cath lab, SEVEN men from their Sunday School class were there. On the spot. Praying. Just being there.

Where were all of the wives?? They were home with the kids, and I will guarantee you they were praying. We all have our warts and problems, but THAT IS WHAT SUNDAY SCHOOL IS ALL ABOUT. Brothers and sisters in Christ standing in the gap with each other for each other!

God just found a new way to pump me up. Today I am pumped up, honored, and proud to be a pastor.

Today I experienced something neat . . . I was visiting a church member at Commander Nursing Home when a little Latin American lady walked into the room. She looked confused and we didn’t quite know what to think. I stood up and turned around to face her and she started to speak Spanish to us. So, falling back on my solid college spanish class, I said: “No habla espanol.” She smile and kept talking, talking faster. I then said “Habla englais . . . No habla espanol.” She did not miss a beat: I could understand part of what she was telling me. She was telling me that she is very, very sick.

I smiled and for a few moments nodded my head. Then I remembered to say “No comprende . . No habla espanol.” She smiled back and kept talking. I tried to be polite, smiled, and shrugged my shoulders occasionally. I tried to tell her that I do not speak Spanish and that I did not understand. SHE did not understand, either. That might be a commentary on my Spanish speaking skills. Willard said he wondered if she could hear . . . Hmmm. Maybe so.

Either way, she spoke her peace and finally turned and left the room. She was not angry . . .She just had something to say. So, we just listened!