Let the Festivities begin!

I decree, on August 19th, that certain things SHOULD happen on my birthday. Here is the list, comply as you are able:

– I will immediately lose 50 lbs.
– Every problem and fire I had to deal with yesterday will not only be completely OUT, any signs of those fires WILL BE GONE.
– Every employee issue on my desk will be resolved without me having to do ANYTHING.
– There will be NO squabbles today that I will have to referee.
– The Braves WILL WIN today.
– In a miraculous move, somehow the Packers will reacquire Brett Favre and all will be forgiven.
– My cholesterol medicine WILL NOT bother me today.
– The new TV season WILL BEGIN TODAY, and not around the 1st of October.
– The Batman tv show WILL BE on the new network lineup, with brand new episodes.
– The Honda dealership will call me, insisting on an even trade between my Accord and a new, beta version of the Pilot that gets 25mph in the city and 32 on the highway. It WILL have a nav system.
– Apple will decide to give us four MacBook pros with everything we need to get into plenty of trouble with them. Deano will be so humbled with the gift that he will renounce Windows Vista and put one of those apple stickers on the rear window of his truck.
– The bank will decide that I have paid on my mortgage long enough, and in light of the fact that it is my birthday, they will FORGIVE all debts.
– Having recognized my coaching prowess, Roy Williams will call and BEG ME to join his staff at UNC. I will politely decline, but will somehow finagle a full ride for Krissy even though I declined.

This list could go on and on, but you get the idea, right????