Today’s Funny

18 Sep

YOU MIGHT BE A PASTOR IF…

~ You hesitate to tell people what you do for a living.
~ You’ve ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover you were.
~ You’ve ever wondered why people couldn’t die at more appropriate times.
~ You find yourself counting people at a sporting event.
~ You’re leading the church into the 21st century, but you don’t know what you’re preaching on Sunday.
~ A church picnic is no picnic.
~ You jiggle all the commode handles at the church before you leave.
~ You’ve ever spoken for free and were worth every penny of it.
~ People sleep while you’re talking.
~ Instead of getting “ticked off,” you get “grieved in your spirit.”
~ You’ve ever been tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.
~ You read sermons to your kids at night instead of bedtime stories.
~ You’d rather talk to people with every head bowed and every eye closed.
~ You’ve ever wanted to “lay hands” around a deacon’s neck.
~ You often feel like you’re herding cats rather than shepherding sheep.
~ Your greatest joys (and biggest heartaches) have been in the church.

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