Archive | December, 2009

Fruitcake!!

10 Dec

I had to use this from mikeysfunnies.com today for TWO REASONS:

1. It is funny!
2. I’ve had one of those weeks FULL of things that I can NEVER blog or tweet about!!

So, here goes:

TWELVE THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD DO WITH A FRUITCAKE

1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won’t park on your lawn.

2. Use it as building material. (This is actually what the Ancient Egyptians used to build the Great Pyramids.)

3. Keep one under your pillow for home defense.

4. Send one to the junk mail company with a note asking them to take you off their list.

5. It’s colorful, use it as a Yule Log.

6. Carve the Presidents’ faces in one and submit it as a science project.

7. Give one to your boss and tell him it’s a life preserver.

8. Use it as a base for flower arrangements.

9. Donate to the local airport for use as airliner wheel blocks.

10. Grind a few up and give it back to your in-laws in a bag marked “lawn fertilizer.”

11. For a community project, sink a few in the ocean and build an artificial reef.

12. Tie one to each foot when you walk through deep snow to keep your feet dry.

Saw this on www.mikeysfunnies.com

8 Dec

TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR HOLIDAY TV SPECIALS

10. Rudolph The Insurance Adjuster

9. Mary, Joseph, and the Donkey’s Wet, Hacking Cough

8. It’s an Above Average Life

7. A Charlie Brown Parole Hearing

6. Frosty 2: The Revenge

5. It’s a Claymation Hanukkah!

4. The Whoville Seven

3. Live from Las Vegas: The Grinch IS Elvis!!

2. The Innkeeper’s Dental Appointment

1. The Night Santa Snapped

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Copyright 1997 Dave Tippett (djtippHA@yahoo.com). Permission is granted to send this to others, but not for commercial purposes.

Thank God It’s Monday!!

7 Dec

Only a minister could even understand THAT. Yesterday I was talking to my friends and the topic was the overuse of TGIF!! I told them TGIM!! I think they understood…

Sunday is the PINNACLE of the Christian week. And the most stressful for the CHURCH STAFF!! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Sundays. But after pouring myself out on Sunday, I feel like a Mack truck hit me head on EVERY MONDAY. That is why many pastors take Mondays off. I’ve found there is more going on Monday than on Friday, hence my choice of the END of the week as the day off. Yes, today will drag. Yes, I will feel like I got two hours of sleep. But TGIM!

Today I will get some administrative work done. Today I really won’t focus too much on Sunday’s sermon. Once I start that process on Tuesday, I work on it every day until Sunday … Today is kind of a MENTAL day-off for me. And some of you thought I was on a permanent mental vacation!!!! (Sometimes I believe that, too!)

So today I will deal with a broken computer. Helping to put the church back together after the Children’s musical last night (WHICH WAS PHENOMINAL!!) Visiting a couple of people in the hospital. And caroling tonight, followed by a Christmas party with Diana.

(By the end of the night I might be uttering TGI TUESDAY!!)

Hate breeds hate

3 Dec

God has been cookin up a blog entry in my heart for several days. Funny how He confirms things sometimes … Last night, Rick Warren tweeted this and I had to retweet: “As followers of Christ we’re prohibited from hating anyone or hurting back. Let it go & you will grow.”

Love breeds love, but hate breeds hate! Think about it: If someone hates you, and expresses it openly, your natural inclination is to hate back! And this is the very emotion Jesus addressed in the Sermon on the Mount when He said if we hate, we endanger ourselves of hell fire! (Read all about it in Matthew 5, 6, & 7)

This translates to EVERY AREA of our lives: Jesus said LOVE YOUR ENEMIES. Those who would kill you, those who express hatred towards you in ANY WAY. And remember (and test and see if this is not true): When someone tells you they HATE you or your family or something you feel is a part of you, your natural urge is to hate back! (This is one of the problems I’ve had with BOTH SIDES of our state college football rivalry this year … I’ve heard too much hate. FROM BOTH SIDES.)

So check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Hate breeds hate. Love breeds love. Jesus said CHOOSE LOVE.

The Glass Half-Full

1 Dec

Yesterday was a Monday … ALL DAY. It seems anything that could’ve gone wrong did. One of THOSE DAYS. After waiting forever at the City of Florence Water Dept., when the lady asked me how I was doing I answered: “Ma’am, if I had a dog, he would’ve already died today.” That kind of day.

But in every bad thing that happened, there was something positive to see. A couple of examples: Yes, my coffee maker died yesterday. Sunday when I got home from church there was coffee all over the counter top. I thought one of my Wikelings just made a mess and asked about it. “NOT ME!” was the answer all around. After further examination, I saw this seven-year-old coffee pot was finally on its last legs. I grabbed a screwdriver and tightened a plate I’d had to tighten before. The screws were a bit loose, so I thought that would take care of it. Of course, it didn’t … In fact it made more of a mess yesterday than before it was tightened. It seems it is finally worn out, and after seven years, it earned it. The upside is I got a new coffee pot yesterday!! Sleek, smaller footprint, and brews a mean-smelling pot of coffee (its still going … haven’t tasted it yet, but it IS a Mr. Coffee. It’ll be fine!)

Diana’s van was broken into yesterday. On Sunday, Krissy had to take my car back to Clemson for about 10 days. Diana and I figure we could do 10 days with one car … no problem!! Yesterday as we began day one, PROBLEM! Someone broke into the car. They got it somehow and tried to steal our stereo. They didn’t get the unit, but they got the face (which renders it useless). They TRIED to get it, but just couldn’t. Makes you feel mad. Makes you feel violated. And the only evidence they found?? A GAMECOCK KEYCHAIN!!!! (Okay, that is NOT true, I just put that in there to get some peeps riled up!! :-)))

What were the positives on that one?? They didn’t break a window. They didn’t steal my toolbox or DeWalt drill in the back of the van. Yes, it was aggravating, but not the end of the world. And I am kind of glad I didn’t hear them, because I would’ve walked out with a pistol … and that wouldn’t ended well, either.

But the glass is still half full. God is still on His throne. And you just gotta look at it that way … its the only way you will make it!!!