Staff Solution

21 Sep

From time to time there are small complaints about our church staff. In an effort to appease everyone, we are firing our entire ministry staff and replacing them with the Ernest_AngleBot 3.0, designed by Robbie Roof and Paul D. Frazier.  We are thankful that the firmware was totally donated by ACS Technologies of Florence, provided Ernest wear an ACS polo shirt autographed by the one and only L. Dean Lisenby.

The AngleBot 3.0 will be equipped with 4G data and full cellular coverage. Will always be available for phone or video consultations. An internal fuse will prevent Ernest from preaching over 22.5 minutes. Multiple Bluetooth connections will allow Ernest to broadcast every type of worship music for the discerning listener. His holographic function will allow him to serve sanctuary, youth, and children’s worship simultaneously. He is the ultimate organizer and doesn’t need volunteers to serve, because he does everything!! No more need for an offering or fundraising … The AngleBot 3.0 is equipped with the latest and greatest printing technology, enabling him to print any needed funds!!

And the best part is he doesn’t even require a salary!! Just plug him into the wall and give him a quart of your finest synthetic oil once a month!!’

Ahhh, the joys of technology!

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