One of THOSE moments

3 Feb

I had one of those moments yesterday in worship … One of those for which I am so thankful.

I have never heard a fellow pastor say “I just love doing funerals.”  I probably never will.  And you will NEVER hear me say that.  While a funeral is typically a simple service, every one takes a little out of you as a pastor.  Even though it does help when the deceased knows Christ, it makes these massive emotional withdrawals from your heart.  And when we have a bunch of them back to back, you get to this place where you feel like you are in the surf and huge waves keep crashing and knocking you down.

January is usually a busy month for these kinds of things.  And in 2014, February might be just as bad. After far too many funerals this past month, I got a phone call on Saturday that a dear lady was close to death.  I drove out to see her and her family.  I drove back, thinking soon Diana and I would get dressed for the EBC Sweetheart Banquet and have a date!!  Then, another call … Yet ANOTHER sweet lady from EBC was close to death.  I drove back to the hospital and prayed with her and her family.  As I drove back to the house, I started thinking to myself “Man, I’m not sure I can take this.”  After so much of it, your heart just aches.

During the Sweetheart Banquet I got a text that one of those ladies died.  Right before 8:30 worship Sunday morning, I got a phone call that the other one died.  Within 12 hours, Ebenezer lost two of the kindest ladies I have known in a while.

So, there I sat on the front pew during 8:30 worship.  Hurting.  Thinking about how those families were hurting.  Thinking about how empty my emotional gas tank was right then.  And we began to sing … Psalm 22:3 tells us that God inhabits the praise of His people.  So I just started signing as hard and loud as I could.  IT WAS AWESOME!! (Not the sound, mind you.  I am sure somewhere a pack of hound dogs was howling at the tops of their lungs.)

Then as I sat there, listening to the choir, God spoke …  I realized that I was right:  I cannot do this.  BUT HE CAN!!  He filled my heart.  He reminded me to stop TRYING to do it myself.  The words the choir sang were like medicine for my wounds.

Every time I come to worship with an empty cup, He fills it.  And not because I am a pastor.  Because I am HIS child!!

One Response to “One of THOSE moments”

  1. BMB February 3, 2014 at 10:00 pm #

    I can empathize with you, pal. My heart is only just healing from my time with hospice. Such a blessing but so draining. Praying that your heart too is healing even as you move through these days. Know that you are loved and appreciated. Xoxo

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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