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Something funny

24 Jan

I saw this on the daily Mikey’s Funnies email (you can subscribe at http://www.mikeysfunnies.com).  Had to share it!!!

today’sFUNNY===========================

The father of a family – who is a big-time techie – got his oldest daughter an iPhone for her birthday. 

He also got an iPad for his son. Later an iPod for the youngest daughter.

So when his anniversary rolled around, he got his wife an iRon.

That’s when the fight began.

[forwarded by Don Hochmuth]

today’sTHOT============================

“The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine.” – Abraham Lincoln

Snow Day 2011

10 Jan

I hope I don’t have to revise that title to ICE DAY or DAY OF RECKONING.  So far, this snow day hasn’t been too bad.  I’d like to thank Al Gore for this snow, for global warming, and for inventing the internet ….  (BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

Seriously, sometimes I think God invented snow days to force us to slow down with nowhere to go and nothing to do but SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY.  Drew and I have already gone out, thrown a snowball or two, cleared the front walk and the step, and drove around our neighborhood.

Talked to Mom and Dad already this morning.  They are doing okay too.  Mom predicts they got about 8 or 9 inches, judging by where the snow comes to on the van wheels.  Snow used to be a big event for Dad.  He would get up and drive up and down our road multiple times to cut grooves so the rest of our cars could get out!!  (Remember, I grew up in PICKENS County).  That is probably why I always feel compelled to drive around Chadwick.  They are warm and safe and stocked with plenty of milk and bread.

Krissy sent us a picture of the courtyard at her apartment at 2am (GEE, THANKS!).  Then she called when the shoveling of the sidewalks woke her up around 8am.  Of course, she is asleep right now and I am not.  Cost of being a dad.

Hope your snow day is great today and it doesn’t cost you too much down the road!!!

Had to post these Christmas quotes

15 Dec

(TODAY’S ENTRY from Mikey’s Funnies.  You can subscribe at http://www.mikeysfunnies.com)
MERRY CHRISTMAS QUOTATIONS
Compiled by James Watkins

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things — not the great occasions — give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Bob Hope

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.
Hamilton Wright Mabie

Christmas is a time when you get homesick — even when you’re home.
Carol Nelson

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.
Eric Sevareid

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phylllis Diller

Mankind is a great, an immense family… This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas.
Pope John XXIII

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
Oren Arnold

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it “white.”
Bing Crosby

The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing others’ loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas.
W. C. Jones

The only real blind person at Christmas-time is he who has not Christmas in his heart.
Helen Keller

There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
Bill McKibben

He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree.
Sunshine Magazine

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more.”
The Grinch from How The Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss

Christmas began in the heart of God. It is complete only when it reaches the heart of man.
Unknown

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
Luke 2:9-14

There has been only one Christmas — the rest are anniversaries.
W.J. Cameron

Celebrating Christmas without Christ is like celebrating George Washington’s birthday without mentioning the first president.
James N. Watkins

Christmas without Christ is a mess.
Jose B. Cabajar

. . . for it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child himself.
A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

This is Christmas: not the tinsel, not the giving and receiving, not even the carols, but the humble heart that receives anew the wondrous gift, the Christ.
Frank McKibben

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Christmas is the day that holds all time together.
Alexander Smith

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Kin Hubbard

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
Calvin Coolidge

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
Ebeneezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays — let them overtake me unexpectedly — waking up some find morning and suddenly saying to myself: “Why, this is Christmas Day!”
David Grayson

The implications of the name ‘Immanuel’ are both comforting and unsettling. Comforting, because He has come to share the danger as well as the drudgery of our everyday lives. He desires to weep with us and to wipe away our tears. And what seems most bizarre, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, longs to share in and to be the source of the laughter and the joy we all too rarely know.
Michael Card

I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the word seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses.
Taylor Caldwell

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end
Isaiah 9:2, 6-7

I had to post this …

8 Dec

Today’s funny from http://www.mikeysfunnies.com

A calorie-conscious woman drove past a bakery and saw some gorgeous Christmas cookies.

She decided to pray about it:  “Lord, if you want me to have some of those delicious cookies, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.”

And sure enough, the eighth time around the block, there it was!

Signs you are drinking too much coffee

1 Nov

This was the email from http://www.mikeysfunnies.com  I read it and those who know me will KNOW why I had to post it!!!

 

SIGNS YOU’RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE

~ Starbucks is accepting bids for a franchise located in your house.

~ The National Bank of Colombia has offered you a Platinum Visa card with zero percent interest.

~ Folgers has offered you a “distributors” franchise for your block.

~ Your co-workers are getting rich buying stock in companies that manufacture foam coffee cups.

~ You just went to the store and bought ten cases of non-diary creamer “to get you through the week.”

~ Those strange footprints in the ceiling of your office.

~ You haven’t slept in a week and no one notices, not even you.

~ You find yourself sneezing Folger’s Crystals.

~ Juan Valdez starts sending you hand-written Thank You notes.

~ You eat garlic to overcome coffee breath.

~ Your dentist upgrades to a belt sander.

~ Alvin & the Chipmunks start to sound like Barry White.

~ Auctioneers begin to make sense.

And the number 1 Sign You’ve Had Too Much Coffee…

~ YYoouu ssttaarrtt ttyyppiinng lliikkee tthhiiss..

You KNOW you watch too much TV when …

3 Oct

~ you’ve removed the power button from the remote.

~ you know the names of the top 10 lawn bowlers.

– you recite the lines word for word with the actors on TV Land.

~ you start recording soap operas so you don’t miss any of the plot.

~ your kids grow up thinking the only thing you can say is “shh, be quiet!”

~ you don’t think Bart Simpson is bad, just misunderstood.

~ commercials become more important than going to the bathroom.

~ you start recognizing extras in movies.

~ you continue to watch TV when the cable goes out.

~ you enjoy other climates by watching the snow on TV.

~ you send fan mail to cartoon characters.

~ your monthly cable/satellite bill is larger than your house payment.

~ you send fan mail to infomercial stars.

today’sTHOT============================

Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried it.

 

(This was recently posted by http://www.mikeysfunnies.com)

Is there anything funny about growing old??

28 Sep

(Today’s post from http://www.mikeysfunnies.com)

You know you’re growing old when…

~ You’ve come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

~ The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the “ten items or less” lane.

~ You’ve stopped supporting your children and started supporting your parents.

~ You buy “age-defying” makeup and “anti-wrinkle” creams and believe they work.

~ You’ve realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

~ You’ve had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic … “for the last time in a generation”

today’sTHOT============================

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.