Tag Archives: life

The Pain

10 Aug

If you are a pastor, you will be on a rollercoaster for a good bit of your career. A rollercoaster of emotions… Ups, downs, side-swipes. You will experience the thrills and agonies of life, sometimes within hours of each other. And the expectation is that you will be a calming and steady presence through it all. Good luck!!

The thrills are easy. Sometimes even getting to be so close to the joys of life will help you keep your sanity (as did a wedding in the midst of all of this stuff this past week). But the agony … The pain … That’s another story. This past week, we drew near three families walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Every family walks that path differently. But PAIN is the common thread. This is a pain they did not choose, and yet they must walk through it. It is a difficult path to walk, no matter what the circumstances might’ve been at the beginning of that trail.

That is one of the reasons I don’t understand when families DECIDE to bring pain on themselves. Life is simply hard enough without asking for more. I am specifically writing about the PAIN of breaking relationships. This really applies to any relationship that suddenly turns sour. And, very specifically, this happens when one or more parties in the relationship suddenly decide to give up the work and seek their own way. To please themselves and stop working to keep the relationship. Suddenly, the relationship is not worth the work anymore.

Yes, there are times when this is inevitable. Sometimes one person chooses this route, and even then the rest of the family will feel the pain. Maybe for the rest of their lives.

But there are also times when it seems to be convenient and/or the chic thing to do. And when you do this, you can always KNOW and EXPECT the pain. And realize that you are not only going to feel the pain, but you will also inflict this pain on others. Maybe on those you love. So, my advice to you is that the grass is rarely greener. But the pain always hurts.

And, for you pastors out there who are walking through all of it with everyone: I’m praying for you. And appreciate your prayers, too.

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PARENTS: Beware of Helicopters!!

18 Nov

Have you ever ridden in a helicopter? One of my bucket list items for sure. HOPEFULLY NOT A MEDIVAC, but a plain helicopter. Looks like fun!!! However, sometimes not so much …

I grew up the son of two hard-working people. Being the only son of three children, I kind of naturally migrated to help my dad… He was a commercial HVAC master. In that, he learned and taught me about HVAC, electrical work, plumbing, gas, and a ton of other things. My dad would adapt and overcome. If there was something he did not know about, he would learn it. When there was a problem there was always a solution of some sort. He taught me to keep working and work hard. When I went into IT work, the electrical part of that training served me well and I continued to grow in that area.

Fast-forward to a few years ago: I was talking to a good friend who is an electrician and was wondering what it takes to earn an electrician’s license in South Carolina. He reminded me that, of course, there is an amount of practical engineering knowledge that you would have to learn and demonstrate. And then a period of apprenticeship, which I believe was 2000 hours of working with a licensed electrician.

WHY? Surely if you know the book knowledge, you could do that job? RIGHT?? Well, you can have all of the knowledge in the world, but if you don’t know how to apply it, what good is it? Can you REALLY do the job? (Also, there are things about that job and every job that a book cannot sufficiently prepare you for …)

I first heard the term “helicopter parenting” a couple of decades ago. In a nutshell, a helicopter parent hovers over their children and can, at times, micromanage their lives. This becomes a problem when it comes time for children to live as adults and are unable to “adult.” They are unable to handle their own life business because they never had to learn how. They never were able to apprentice.

As a pastor, I now see the cycle of “helicopter children” becoming “helicopter parents” and some are struggling because they don’t even know how to relate to people and get things done on their own, let alone for their children. That struggle is REAL! Just ask some of my teacher friends.

What can be done? Parents, BREAK THE CYCLE. It is never too late to teach. Grandparents, COME ALONGSIDE AND HELP ALL THAT YOU CAN. And remind them that you won’t always be there to help. Teach them how to SURVIVE and THRIVE!!!

Remember … This is just my opinion. Just something I see almost every day. And if I can help, call the church!! I’ll try to help as much as I can!!!

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