One Pastor's Perspective

I really, truly believe God calls us to put HIM FIRST and FAMILY NEXT.  Perhaps to a fault, but I will not apologize for that.  When my children were smaller, I would build my schedule (as much as I was able) to spend time with them … To see their ball games … To help them with homework … ANYTHING they needed.  Because I firmly believe that was/is my calling as a dad.

Will you take criticism for that??  YES.  WHY??  Because, at the very base of his strategy, the devil wants to tear the family unit apart.  ESPECIALLY a family that lives for God!!  Think about it:  The devil’s tricks really haven’t changed much over the past few centuries.  He is still about the business of wanting to topple the Kingdom of God, and that happens by attacking families of those serving in that Kingdom.

So, if you put family first, you can expect the world to criticize … to attack … to never understand.  To apply peer-pressure.  You can expect the devil to do anything he can do to distract you and me from doing what God has called us to do.

That can be scary … HOW DO WE FIGHT THIS??

FOLLOW GOD.  OBEY HIM.  Do whatever He leads you to do, in spite of what the world says.  Do what you KNOW is right in God’s eyes.  He won’t let you down!!!

I just realized a few minutes ago.  It was 18 years ago TODAY when I drove in to Florence in a U-Haul, loaded with stuff, my family, and my calling to Ebenezer as the Minister of Youth and Recreation.  WOW!  Drew was one month old.  Krissy was 4 and a half.  And I was MUCH, MUCH younger… and had a mustache.

In some ways, it seems like a lifetime ago and in other ways it seems like only yesterday.  When I think about all that God has done since June 5, 1995, it really boggles my mind.  And I am thankful for it all!!

I did a wedding this weekend…  Third one this month, actually.  But there was something that really made this one stand out!!  I was part of a trio of ministers involved.  What made this one special, however, was the third man in the lineup…

When I came to Ebenezer in 1995, there were a handful of senior high leaders that were really active.  But the core group was mostly made up of 8th and 9th graders.  And one of those 8th graders was a skinny little blonde-headed kid who wore glasses.  His name is Jason Dorriety.  He had this cute little sister who could outplay ALL of the boys in her grade (3rd, I think) in basketball.  Her name is Jessica.  Jessica Graham, as of this past Saturday.

Jason was that kid who was there EVERY TIME THE DOOR OPENED.  And, he wasn’t just there.  He was diving in as deep as he could.  And, he KEPT DIVING IN, even AFTER he graduated high school.  This wasn’t a David Wike thing, even though he was one of my good friends by the time he was a junior in high school.  This was a GOD-THING.

This God-thing continued into college, where he was eventually the president of FCA at Clemson.  It continued into life, as shortly after college, he publicly surrendered his life to full-time ministry.  Since then, he has served at First Baptist Church in Gray, Ga, and now at Spring Valley Baptist Church in Columbia, SC, as Minister to Students.

Everyone else at the wedding this weekend teared up when Jessica took a microphone and sang to Joel at the unity candle, a move most of us had NO IDEA was going to happen.  I had already fought back tears when Jason started speaking as he did his part of the wedding.  A big knot came up in my throat and I thought about that skinny little 8th grader that was taking it all in …

So, if I am permitted to have pride in ministry, I was PROUD on Saturday night.  And thankful God allows me to be part of a wonderful church that generates young men like Jason Dorriety.

I really didn’t think about this but a couple of times yesterday, but March 3rd is the day that will always live in infamy in my life and mind … The day I broke both arms!!  The fact that I didn’t mark this day this year like I did last year tells most of the story … So far, recovery has been really good!!

I might regret writing this, but I still haven’t experienced pain like I was told I would.  The right elbow is 100% good, but it was the lesser of the two breaks.  The left elbow will not extend fully and will not rest fully, but I really don’t have pain.  I’m still limited in how I can use it and bend it, but there is no resting pain and no aching when it is cold outside or about to rain.  And I am quite thankful for that!!

It is all testimony to two big things in my life:  The healing power of God AND the fact that God DOES use even tragedies in the lives of His children to build His kingdom.  I’ve had more opportunities in the past two years because of this elbow that I would’ve never had!!  I remember laying in my hospital bed on morphine asking God over and over to use this somehow.  He has made good on that one, time and time again!!

So I am thankful that yesterday wasn’t that big of a deal for me!!  It’s just another story of God and His mighty healing power!!

So far, 2013 has been an interesting year for me.  And not entirely in a good way.  And here I sit at my desk thinking about what a Monday usually consists of for many pastors:  Tidying up from Sunday.  Literally and figuratively.

Remembering the two air conditioning units that were not working right yesterday… Remembering some of the feedback from people that were in areas where their heat WAS working properly … A prayer request here … A reminder about surgery there … And, all the while, knowing that I am human and WILL FORGET something.

Next, who is in the hospital??  Who was in last week and needs a call??  What will happen this week??  Did I leave the iron on??

Then there are the personal items.  None that I will list here, but thinking about Dad and Mom … about my kids … about my bride …  about life.

So many details spinning around in my head.  Too many for any morning, let alone MONDAY (which is the one day on which a pastor is NEVER supposed to make a permanent decision).  Then, a verse came into my sights… One I’ve seen and quoted many times over:

Matthew 6:³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (NIV)

What have I done today to SEEK HIS KINGDOM FIRST AND LET HIM HANDLE ALL OF THE DETAILS????

Good question … Think I will work on that!!

You know it is easy to talk about the promises of God and study the truths of God for me.  It is something I not only study on a regular basis, but I also witness His strength and miracles in the lives of others on a weekly basis.  I am thankful for that.

However, this post is a confession.  There are times in my life when I step into one of THOSE places where I must completely trust Him and His plan, and I must relinquish all control of situations and allow Him to handle them.  And today I must confess that this can be difficult for me, too!

GASP!!!  The PASTOR has trouble with this?????

Well, I AM human … And I am in one of those places with SEVERAL things in my personal and professional life.  But I am trying … And when I fail, the best thing to do is ask for His forgiveness and get back on the horse.  So that is what I’ll do!!

In the words of Michael W. Smith, “Pray for me.  And I’ll pray for you!!”

Christmas has always been a time of the year filled with wonder for me.  Always a time when the little kid in me can still feel that spark of magic if you will … NOT taking away from the real meaning of Christmas in this, but there is something about gathering with family.  Being home in Easley.  Never knowing what Santa was going to do.  Enjoying time with family, especially with my mom and dad.  I basically left their home a little over 25 years ago to start a new home with my beautiful young bride, and Christmas has always been a time of coming back to that solid relationship with my parents and family.  And I have always loved it.

This year, however, was different.  It was good that both of my sisters and their families were home this Christmas. First time that has happened since 2003.  The population of mom and dad’s house went from 2 to 12 people, and no dogs to three.  Honestly, this year I never felt like we were too crowded or getting tired of being around all of those people.  Those people are my family and it was great!  But, that was only a bright spot in all of this.

This year was different.  Every time I go home I can see changes in Dad.  Not only is his memory going down, but his general awareness of where he is and who is there with him is quickly fading.  I see it in his eyes and hear it in our conversations.  I worry about Mom because I also see the toll this is taking on her.  She is overworked, yet very protective of her role … so much so that offering help is often met with a “no thank you.”

All of this has made for the most melancholy Christmas I’ve ever experienced.  I guess I’ve realized Christmas will never be the same again… Thought about that a lot as I drove yesterday.  We left Easley a little after 12, drove to Clemson to have lunch with Amy Williams and go by Krissy’s apartment so she could pick up a couple of things.  Then we drove to Charlotte to visit IKEA.  Then we tried to go to a Carrabbas in downtown Charlotte, and didn’t realize the Belk Bowl was going on in Charlotte (which Duke TANKED in the last minute and a half).  So we headed on down I-77, only to find bumper-to-bumper traffic at the state line due to a wreck.  We FINALLY made it to Carrabbas at Spring Valley, ate a great supper, and got home a little before 10pm.  It was the longest trip from Easley to Florence I’ve ever had.  A lot of driving time, maybe too much time to think.  At one point I was thinking “I can see how the Grinch got his start…”  Then I realized green is just not my color, so THAT is not an option even though Bailey would make a great “Max.”

All in all, I’ve got to get my head on straight concerning all of this.  This is where life has placed us …  It will be as miserable or peaceful as we allow it to be.  I KNOW my God will walk every step of this with me and my family.  Just didn’t expect it quite so soon, and quite like this.

25 years ago … a quarter-century ago … I did the smartest thing I’ve ever done (besides accept Christ as my Savior).  I married my best friend.

Life has been quite an adventure since then.  In every way, Diana has been the perfect compliment to me and my weaknesses…  When we married, I was starting a career I loved as a computer programmer.  We had planned to build a house on a couple of acres my mom and dad gave us adjacent to their property (when we could afford it).  Life was all mapped out and we were good with it.

About one month after our wedding, my mom was diagnosed with cancer.  She had a tough battle, and Diana was right there with me helping.  And it was hard.  They say the first year of marriage is tough, and ours was really hard.  Mom got on the road to recovery (and has done very well since) and life resumed … until God called a couple of years later.

After I ran from His call for a while, life took us to New Orleans and my being a full-time student.  Diana didn’t flinch at the fact that she would have to find a full-time job (even though we’d been able to afford for her to be a stay-at-home mom with our toddler, Krissy).  Those were some of the toughest times, and also some of the best.

Since those days, life has been quite a roller coaster.  I guess everyone can say that about life, but our roller coaster has had some hills, valleys, and sharp turns that would snap your neck.  And in every unexpected turn, there she is … my wife … holding on tight for the ride and not shaken by any of it.  And able to make sense of it all.

Has life turned out like we dreamed many years ago??  Yes and no.  No, we are not where we’d mapped things out.  But that’s okay.  Because, truth is, we wouldn’t be happy being anywhere but where God wants us to be.  And I thank God for my wife, who not only understands that, but is willing to serve Him right along side me.

So, I know I’m a blessed man!!