WHY does the price of gas stay up after the Gustav jump even after the price of a barrel of oil has DROPPED almost every day this week??? WHY does gas JUMP at the sign of trouble, even BEFORE the price of a barrel jumps, but it takes days for us to see it at the pump after the price of a barrel FALLS???
A police officer pulled a guy over for speeding and had the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI (Driving Under the Influence).
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. (It was valid.)
Captain: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem.The trunk was opened; no body.
Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
today’sTHOT============================
Diplomacy is the art of letting somebody else have your way.
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Went to the late game tonight for our co-ed team. It really wasn’t so bad until one of the umps, whom I will not name, went from zero to furious after he blew a call and we let him know about it. All kinds of things were exchanged, both during and after the game, that make me wonder if I am done at that league, and if we should try another league next year?? If the umps don’t like your team and your team is the ONLY one complaining, (which I find hard to believe) maybe it IS time to move on. I don’t know, but am glad I don’t have to make that decision tonight.
I won’t recap the previous signs, but this one is definitely a sign of the end of the world: PAUL FRAZIER HAS A BLOG!!! I will GUARANTEE everything he writes to be worth a read. His link is http://pauldfrazier.blogspot.com. CHECK IT OUT!!
Now, to be completely serious for a moment, things DO look hopeful for New Orleans, but it looks like south central Louisiana is going to take the hit. And where New Orleans is the most vulnerable geographic area, the south central part of the state is the poorest. SO, I do breathe a little sigh of relief, but I am still praying and you should be, too. Don’t be fooled . . . The devastation and destruction WILL be there, just not in New Orleans.
I THOUGHT I was under the gun in the last post. The House of Worship campaign is going to rock steady once we get things cranked up and rolling, but WOW . . . We were NOT the only ones who feel under the gun. I have spent most of the last two days NOT preparing for Sunday, but putting out fires and talking people down from proverbial ledges.
I think on today, my day off, I will break my cell phone and home phone! And if I ever write that I am under the gun again, just shoot me and put me out of my misery!
That’s is where I find myself with Kerry, Amanda, and Deano on some things for our House Of Worship campaign. Last night we met (until a few minutes ago). It was good and it moving ahead in a positive direction, but there is much to do. And I am glad to see God at work in it, and God at work in our church.
But there is nothing quite like being under the gun.
(With my sincerest apologies if I borrow from King Lemuel a little)
A woman of great value . . . Who can find her?
She works to make sure her family has everything they need to survive.
She remembers what it was like to be a teenager, and she sacrifices greatly so her children can have.
She is always looking for the best deals, always manages to feed and clothe her family well, and always knows the schedule of everything and how her family will deal with it.
She honors her family by loving her mother and helping all she can; she remembers her father with such love . . . I hope my children remember me so fondly someday.
She is tough on the outside, but it is only a protective exterior . . . Inside she is tender, warm, and loving.
She protects her children with the ferocity of a mama bear, she guides them with the wisdom of an owl, and she teaches them to survive with the cunning of a fox.
Yes, charm is deceptive and outer beauty a mere mirage. But a woman of character, SHE is to be praised.
Who can find a woman of great value?? I have no idea what to tell you fellas, because I married the only one I found!!!!
Yesterday was jam-packed with about everything you could imagine for a Sunday . . . And what a day it was!
We had some powerful music in morning worship (which really jacks me up to preach), a discipleship preview at 5:30, deacon ordination at 6:30 (where Andi set a RECORD for longest continual organ music), and then a “brief” deacons meeting that was supposed to last 5 minutes and probably lasted for 30 or more.
I just wish more people would come to a deacon ordination. It really is a meaningful event in the life of our church. But, all in all, it was a great day!
If you’ve been watching the Olympics, perhaps you saw the highlights of the US men AND women both dropping the baton in one of the relay races. Neither team, therefore, even qualified to run for a medal. And EVERYONE is turning up the heat over this unforgivable faux pas.
WHY?? WE EXPECT PERFECTION. Yep, in EVERY competition, we expect our athletes to excel and win gold. Nothing less will do. So, in the same vein, we are disappointed in our softball team for losing the gold (and the first game since Sept, 2000).
Don’t get me wrong . . . There is NOTHING WRONG with stiving for perfection. I believe the problems ensue when we slowly convince ourselves that we should be perfect, and nothing less will do. Because we are not. Being around athletics all of my life have taught me two things: GOD ALONE is perfect, and I am NOT HIM. Neither is Michael Jordan, Michael Phelps, Tiger Woods, Brett Favre, and the list goes on . . .
Am I happy about the dropped batons?? No. But, just proof again that they are human. Will those athletes remember and regret that for the rest of their lives?? Probably. But they are not perfect.
And, last time I checked, neither are YOU.
I don’t think a single one of my decrees actually came true yesterday. That is all I have to say about that.
One Pastor's Perspective 