One Pastor's Perspective

Yesterday I attended the funeral of my uncle Roger.  It wasn’t quite 8 weeks ago when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Everyone I’ve known with that type of cancer has gone quickly.  And my aunt and cousins tell me there was a blessing in all of this, because he was starting to experience great pain.

How often have I told folks at Ebenezer that we preach our own funerals by how we live??  The ministers in his church did a great job yesterday, but six months from now no one will remember what they said … What we will remember is how Roger lived!

My favorite memories of Roger are caught up in holidays, mostly Christmas.  Since his sons, Tony and Allen, are the closest male cousins I have to my age, I always hoped EVERY CHRISTMAS they would be home.  I probably drove my mom nuts for a few years, asking her EVERY CHRISTMAS “are the Radcliffe’s coming home?”  It always made Christmas more fun for me when they did!

Roger was a lot of fun.  Always had a good attitude and an optimistic outlook.  Like his pastor said yesterday, he was probably one of the first techno-geeks in Horry County (via the USAF).  He continued to love computers and worked with them, both for fun and vocation, for the rest of his life.

And now Roger is the first … The first of his generation, in my mom’s family, to die.  Mom has four sisters and one brother, and Roger has the unfortunate distinction of being the first we’ve buried.  Although we won’t live forever, there is always that little part of us that hopes … that cannot imagine being without our family.

I am thankful for the way he served his nation, the way he served his family, and the way he served his Lord.  And kind of sad that he was the first.

Yes, I can hear the clicking of the chain, pulling the rollercoaster car up another hill.   And, if you’ve read me before,  I HATE ROLLERCOASTERS.  But I have moved into a few days where I will meet myself coming and going at least a couple of times.

Went to the funeral home last night.  It was good to see my aunt and my cousins doing well.  Uncle Roger was in a great deal of pain for the last couple of weeks, so there was an element of blessing in his death.   Of course, that doesn’t make things much easier, but it helps a little.  Of course I will return today for the funeral.  It will be two trips within 24 hours …

I also need to make a quick trip up to Greenville to check on Dad.  Then a full day on Sunday with Baccalaureate and an ordination council / service on Sunday afternoon / evening.

WHEW!!  The next few days will be hectic!!  But there are some good things in there, so I am thankful.

The circle of life is somewhat predictable.  Just as sure as we are born, we will die one day unless Christ returns before our time is up.  It is a fact of life with which we deal every day.  And in a church the size of Ebenezer, some family is ALWAYS walking through that valley of the shadow of death.

Well, this week will be one of my turns.  My uncle, Roger Wayne Radcliffe, died last night.  It seems like only a few weeks ago when I heard the news of his pancreatic cancer.  When I heard that was his cancer, I knew it probably wouldn’t be long.  It never is with that one.

Cancer stinks.  Yeah, those words are not original to me, but they are so true.  Sometimes I wonder if we are doing this to ourselves with all the steroids we inject into meat and the pesticides we use on our vegetables.  Not that I am about to become a tree-hugger, but you’ve got to wonder why cancer is so much more prevalent today.

My Uncle Roger was a career Air Force man.  His career took him all over the world, with his last assignment being in Myrtle Beach.  After retirement, he was a civilian contractor on MYB Air Force Base until it closed.  He and my Aunt Pug (her real name is Evelyn, but I don’t even know if she would answer to it any more) lived in Socastee.   Three of their four kids still live at the beach … One lives on the west coast.  Facebook gave me an avenue over the last year or so to really reconnect with all of them, and today I share their pain.

I KNOW many people will say many things to them in the next few days … Things like “it must’ve been God’s will”  and “he is in a better place” and “Heaven needed him a little more than we did.”  And, although those seem to be harmless statements, they might not be quite what a grieving family needs to hear right now.  Sometimes I wish people would just be there and listen.

We all face loss.  Part of what is awesome about being in a church family is we carry these burdens with each other, not alone.  We help each other, because it is the right thing to do.  AND because we know there will be a day when we will need help, too!

Just a little update and a chance to say “thank God for small progress.”

Dad is continuing to work with home health therapists and is making progress! He got out of bed two mornings in a row with his walker, as opposed to with the lift! Seems like small progress, but it makes me think less of what that nurse said about him only getting worse from here.

Sometimes I think healthcare workers get overwhelmed and make assumptions that are not totally accurate. I think her intention was good and I guess I am just glad she was wrong. Oh well!

We are just thankful for continuing progress!!!

The updates on Dad, much like his progress, have slowed … HOWEVER, I am glad to report he is making more and more progress.  Just in the last two days he’s had really good sessions with the physical therapist (from home health).  He IS WALKING, more and more every time, with hopes he can be trained to get in and out of Mom’s car.  That would change life SIGNIFICANTLY.

His progress really is slow.  And there are several differing opinions about how far he will be able to recover.  But, ultimately, only God knows the answer to that.

All of the above mentioned progress is physical.  His mental state is not quite in the same place.  But prayer works!  Thanks for all of the concern and prayer!

Do YOU know where YOU were 15 years ago today??  I DO.  I was checking my very pregnant wife into one of the finest hospitals in the south … the Ochsner Hospital in New Orleans.  It was two weeks before my seminary graduation, and Diana had scheduled (YES, SCHEDULED) her c-section for that day.  (She literally told the doctor that it WOULD be done that day … He said, “OK.”)

Just a few hours later, I held my son for the first time.  I can truly say it was one of the two most awesome days of my life, with the other being the day Krissy was born.  New Orleans will never forget that week, either, but for different reasons:  An unexpected rain storm dumped TONS of rain on the city and flooded a large percentage of it.

Two weeks later, I graduated with one class left to finish.  My professors all knew about our newborn Drew and I think they all took pity on my that quarter.  I was getting very little sleep but was still able to pull a 4.0.  On June 1, a bunch of people from our church came over and helped me load a big UHaul. We spent the evening of June 1 in the seminary hotel, and on June 2 I took the final exam for that last class (it was a week-long workshop), got into that UHaul, and drove my wife and my new son to Florence, SC.  (Krissy had returned to Easley with my parents after graduation)

So, today I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my son, Drew Wike!  And wish him many, many more!!!

Okay, first things first:  Krissy is HOME!  She did really well this semester, BUT. . .  I have NEVER seen so much STUFF crammed into a dormroom.  In my LIFE!!  And I have moved two sisters in and out of Clemson, so I know “girls need more things” but C’MON!!!  We got back around 11:00pm last night, unloaded, and collapsed.

I finally woke up this morning sometime after first service.  I was here, and I preached (I think), but I finally woke up.  Hope I didn’t say anything stupid.

We got a little more work done at Mom and Dad’s, but probably worked more on storing Krissy’s stuff than improving the house.

Dad had an interesting weekend.  He really struggles with his memory, and one of the meds they’ve put him on (Provigil) is over $500 per month.  We are trying some different avenues to get that cost down.  We rented the van this weekend and it taught us that we probably WON’T buy one anytime soon. It would be very difficult for Mom to do all of that on her own.

His physical condition is okay.  I don’t know if I would say the same about his mental condition.   The nurse at the VA told me to prepare myself that things probably wouldn’t get much better than they are right now. I sure hope she is wrong.

So, here I sit in my office between worship services.  I am so tired I could probably go to sleep right now.  But there is too much to do today for that!

How bored am I?? I am sitting in the waiting area at the Gvl VA Clinic. Waiting. They let me go back for his nurse assessment but the doc threw me out.

Interestingly enough, the nurse pulled me back into her office to give me a speech about Mom needing help and not being able to do this alone. I told her I’ve been giving her the same speech until I am blue in the face. She told me it’s time to put my foot down.

I do agree but wonder how well she knows the case! She said “If he has another stroke it will probably be a bad one.”. I told her he alledgedly has not had a stroke (or so we’ve been told).

Wow. And my stress level was just starting to come down.

On the other hand, I just blogged this from my iPhone. Cool!

Today I will point the car back toward the place where the Blue Ridge Mountains yawn their greatness … For you novices, that is Clemson.  Krissy took her last exam last night and we can’t wait to see what her grades are!!!  :-p

ALSO, while there we will spend some time with Mom and Dad AT HOME!!  There is more work to be done AND this weekend we are renting a ramp van to let Mom try one out.  If she likes it, the next task will be a purchase.  We’ve already been working towards that, but if it goes well, we will get really serious about it.

Okay, now I find out they might have modified a service report … Hmmm.  Not trusting that dealership too much right now.