One Pastor's Perspective

This is today’s entry from Mikey’s Funnies!  Subscribe at http://www.mikeysfunnies.com

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A man went to buy a parrot.  The pet shop owner pointed out three identical parrots and said, “The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars.”

“Why does that parrot cost so much?” the man wondered.

The owner replied, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.”

The man asked about the next parrot.

“That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to use the LINUX operating system.”

Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third parrot.

“That one costs 2,000 dollars.”

“And what does that one do?” the man asked.

The owner replied, “To be honest, I’ve never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him Boss.”

today’sTHOT============================

I did NOT escape. They gave me a day pass.

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny. But she couldn’t have been right – everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken – pork and beef and fish too.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she’d asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, “Colonel Sanders.”

Guess where I am now…

[forwarded by Gordon Moore]

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This was too good NOT to post!  It was forwarded by Christy Worrell to Mikey’s Funnies (www.mikeysfunnies.com)

23RD PSALM FOR THE STUDENT

The Lord is my real instructor and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray before I speak and to do all things without murmuring and complaining.
He reminds me that He is my Salvation and not my school.
He restores my sanity every day and guides my decisions that I might honor Him in everything I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of homework, quizzes, tests, unrealistic deadlines, shortages of funds, gossiping students, discriminating teachers, and a sleep-deprived body that doesn’t cooperate every morning, I will not stop–for He is with me!

His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.
He raises me up, even when they fail to give me good grades.
He claims me as His own, even when the class threatens to flunk me.

His faithfulness and love are better than any A+.
His eternal reward beats every degree there is.
When it’s all said and done, I’ll be working for Him a whole lot longer than I’ll be in school (even when it doesn’t feel like it) and for that, I bless His Name!

[forwarded by Christy Worrell]

This was today’s offering from http://www.mikeysfunnies.com

today’sFUNNY=============================

MURPHY’S LAWS OF PARENTING

– The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

– The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

– The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

– A sure way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

– For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

– Toys multiply to fill any space available.

– Yours is always the only child who doesn’t behave.

– If the shoe fits … it’s expensive.

– Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

today’sTHOT============================

The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn’t getting enough sleep.

Choices … choices …

Why did I choose the domain name davidrwike.com??  Did you notice the R?  THAT will be the most common misspelling of this blog address!  But it is there out of necessity!

You see, I tried davidwike.com   TAKEN!  Apparently THAT David Wike is a photographer in the state of Washington.  His stuff looks good, but I bet the travel expenses would be MURDER, so I would use Bethany Robinson.  🙂

I also tried davewike.com   TAKEN!  No one around here calls me Dave, but sometimes my sister and Diana’s sister does.  I could get used to it as a blog name.  BUT …. This site belongs to a very gifted guitarist, ironically, who now LIVES in Greenville, SC  (my hometown).  I met Dave’s dad once years ago when he sent an email to me intended for his son on AOL.  He was cool!  And Dave is now my Facebook friend!

So the R was inevitable … And, yes, isn’t it ironic that I have earned a doctor’s degree AND my initials are D.R. Wike, making me Dr. D.R. Wike.  drdrwike,com   Hmmm…. that has a ring …