One Pastor's Perspective

Well, here it is!!  Over six months later, and TODAY I was finally able to put my wedding band back on!!!  This wedding band is very special to me, not only because my bride of almost 24 years put it on my hand.  Not only because it is a symbol of the promise I made to her, her family, my family, the whole world, and God that I will be the BEST HUSBAND God allows me to be for the rest of our lives.  This band has another significant meaning … It belonged to Diana’s dad, who died when she was a senior in high school.

I only got to know Don Duncan for nine months. He was a Godly man.  He was fun.  He was ferociously loyal to his family AND to his Clemson Tigers (a trait his daughter has, and now his grandchildren, too!)  And his family loved him.  And he returned their love.  When I look at him, at my dad, and my grandpa, I’ve had some pretty good mentors about what it means to be a husband, father, and lead a family.  And I’ve got a lot to live up to.  This ring reminds me of what God expects from me … and a dad who is hanging around with Him in Heaven right now.  When I see Don again one day, I hope he’ll tell me I did his ring justice!!

Okay, so this is my first Labor Day in which I’ve been able to do only a FEW of the things I wanted to do.  Drew and I have been working in the yard this morning … fighting with the lawn mower (currently, the lawn mower is winning. But the day ain’t over!) I have also discovered that I cannot pull the lawn mower cord without searing pain in my right shoulder … Hope that gets better!!

Anyway, this Labor Day weekend has shown me several things I’m glad to see:

1.  Dad is doing ok.  Not great, but ok.  His memory is starting to go, and that brings interesting conversations.  He still thinks I’m down here in Florence working on an HVAC quote for Ebenezer.  He forgets that I’ve been here over 16 years, with over 10 now as Senior Pastor.

2.  I CAN still go to a Clemson football game and cram into the stands with all of the other sardines.  Diana protected my left elbow at all times.  It was physically tough to do last Saturday with almost 100 degree temperatures.  But we’ve survived to this point!!

3.  I can still play Papa Bear when I need to.  Krissy was riding into Clemson from her apartment with her roommate (who had to work Saturday).  As they pulled into the parking lot, a couple of drunk frat boys opened a taxi door and shattered the mirror on the roommate’s Jeep.  We walked up as the two drunk guys were getting kind of heated.  I calmly folded my arms, got between them (very close to the drunkest idiot) and started calmly talking to them.  They calmed down like a couple of pups.  Every time I walked away, they would get riled up.  And I would walk back over, fold my arms, and get really close to the dude.  He magically calmed down every time.  I was watching to see if he wet his khakis, which I hope he did.  I never told them who I was, but they knew I knew Krissy and Megan.  That’s all they needed to know.  Little did they know I could do nothing more than fold that left arm … Again, they didn’t need to know that.  I kept them calm until the policeman got there and it worked out.

Now I sit here … A little frustrated about the morning, but glad I got to do some cool things this Labor Day weekend.

Lately it seems I’ve had several folks asking me if I’ve been tweeting or posting about them, or that they are concerned about my tweets/posts.  And they are serious.   Am I angry with them??  With a group??  Have I lost my mind??  Did I leave the iron on???  Stuff like that.  Well, here goes:

Honestly, when I submit a post on Twitter or on my blog, it is usually coming straight from the heart and mind.  (That also explains typos and grammatical problems!!)  Maybe that’s not always the best thing to do.  But I want my blog posts and tweets to be honest, with only necessary filters.  Maybe I’m wrong in this, but that is my personal thought about social media.

I have been more careful lately and am trying to filter a little more, but I don’t want to remove the personal glimpse.  I hope that’s ok with everyone.  If I’m not going to be honest with it (within the limits of what my ministry will allow) then I probably need to stop doing it!!

With all of that said, if you read my previous blog post, you will see that I’m making a commitment in every aspect of my life to NOT GIVE the devil ROOM TO WORK IN ANYTHING THAT I SAY OR DO.  I hope you’ll join me in that … Even in what we say or do behind closed doors!!!!

I went back to Dr. Mezzanotte yesterday for a check-up.  Everything went fine.  He said the x-rays looked good and the progress did, too.  He hasn’t talked about joint replacement in the last few visits.  Told me I am in maintenance mode and perhaps he will go in a year or two into my elbow to clean things out.  We’ve made progress beyond what we expected and therapy is still making progress.  It was a good visit.

As he finished, he told me again that my elbow was pretty messed up.  He doesn’t see them like that too often. And, ironically, he has a patient right now who has TWO elbows as messed up as my left was.  Understanding HIPPA laws, I asked if he could get permission for me to go see the guy.  He’s having a hard time dealing with this.  Honestly, I never expected to hear back.  But I did!!

Today when I do my hospital visits, I’ll get to go see this man.  And I don’t know what God has in store for this, but maybe this is God making something good come out of something really bad that happened to me over five months ago …

Riding in to work this morning, I saw a sign … A church sign that read something like this:  “Your pain touches God’s heart.”  WOW!!  True, and it sparked my thought process a little …

What pain do I really have???  I’d been thinking about this earlier this morning.  The pain a pastor feels is very unique.  And all across the spectrum.  Walking through the pain of death with church families you love.  Counseling through the pain of broken relationships.  Feeling sharp pain for a close friend who is in the crosshairs.  The pain of disease and suffering.  The list could go on.  (NOW, there is also GREAT JOY in this calling, too!!!  But the joy doesn’t leave scars)

And then, add to it the fact I’m a middle child.  So I have this massive fault in that I want everyone to be happy.  And, in a Southern Baptist church, that AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN.  I feel this pain for my family, who walk through my pain with me and can do NOTHING about it because I handcuff them.  I pray everyday that none of this will scar my children, that they will grow up to be vibrant, active KINGDOM BUILDERS for GOD!!  It’s most unfair for my wife.  She is the perfect partner for me, and she feels my pain like no one else.

And just when I think I could go buy a cake for this pity party, God steps in and reminds me:

• HE LOVES ME
• HE WILL NEVER FORSAKE ME
• LIFE IS FULL OF PAIN FOR EVERYONE, NOT ONLY PASTORS
• OUR FIGHT IS NOT WITH FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT WITH THE POWERS OF DARKNESS IN THIS WORLD
• IF I TRUST THE HOLY SPIRIT, I WILL KNOW HE IS ALREADY AT WORK FOR ME INTERCEDING ON MY BEHALF AT GOD’S VERY THRONE

So my pain, be it ever so vain or prideful, really does touch the heart of God.  And so does yours!!

This morning I realized it was 20 years ago this week that I left my job in computer programming to pursue God’s call into full-time ministry.  Krissy was 9 months old when I returned to school to finish my bachelor’s degree, first at North Greenville College and then at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary.  That was a scary time for Diana & me.  God promised to look out for us, and even THIS WEEK He still makes good on His promise!!!  As I look back I see His hand in it all!!!  And I will always be thankful and grateful!!!

I could write about this for days … And when I think about it, I already have.  That’s what this blog is all about!!!!

I was in an impromptu discussion of something yesterday and I heard the words … Words I never want to hear again.  “How will we keep the floors clean (if we do that)??”  The scar was more tender than I ever thought it would be twenty years later …

April, 1991, was a painful time in my life.  I witnessed a vibrant ministry of my home church shut down in it’s prime.  The Christian school that had been open for over 20 years was suddenly closed by a new pastor in my home church.  When I went and asked him why, his answer was “we can’t have all those kids running around in our halls and dirtying up the floors.  We’ve got to make ourselves attractive to ‘church shoppers.'”  (That is an EXACT QUOTE.  I will never forget it.)

When I finally answered God’s call, part of what the Holy Spirit put on my heart was to NEVER be that pastor.  I could almost verbally hear God say “I’ve got plenty of men like that.  I need one like YOU.”  In hindsight, that was actually a good thing for me to hear because it revealed his true character to me.

Long story shortened, I think we’ve worked through the questions of yesterday.  And, as long as we have mops and I have one good arm, I will fight to keep viable ministries going.  Even if I have to mop it myself with my one good arm!!!!

Yes, we had some fun around the Chadwick subdivision last night …. So much, I didn’t sleep from all the activity!!  For Diana and me, it all started as I took Roma out for one last walk before we went to bed around 11pm.  As I walked off the front porch, I saw someone walk around Diana’s van and stare me down.  I asked “What are yall doing over there?” and immediately realized exactly WHAT they were doing.  I ran back to the front door and called Diana … They ran up the street.

We hopped in the car and saw Russ Watson walking Bruiser.  Russ saw them trying to break into Diana’s door and told me where he saw the run.  We traced their trail but they were gone.  Now, the FIRST thing we did was call 911, as we were backing the car out of the driveway.  The Florence County Sheriffs Office had TWO cars in the neighborhood within 5 minutes.

After we told them where they’d been seen, the deputies started doing their job.  Long story short, within 25 minutes they had the two minors in the back of the car. Apparently they were walking through Chadwick on their way home from the McLeod Park Skateboard Park and decided to give “breaking into cars” a try.

I know every neighborhood has problems like this from time to time.  I remember a few years ago when this was rampant in Hampton Pointe.  And in the ten years we’ve lived in Chadwick, we’ve only had ONE car break-in.  Of course, I’m not counting last night because they didn’t get in.  All they succeeded in doing was putting a scratch on our passenger door.

I am thankful for the Florence County Sheriff’s Office and the quick job they did last night of finding those kids.  And I pray that maybe last night was an ending (instead of a beginning) of a criminal career.

Okay, I haven’t blogged in a while.  I really need to fix that.  And this morning, I have a real milestone to post:

For the first time in almost 20 weeks (tomorrow makes 20), I SLEPT ALL NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is great cause for celebration, if no where else, in my heart!!!!  And there really is nothing like a good night’s sleep!!!  As far as therapy goes, I’m still going.  Three times a week.  Three hours a shot.  And we make progress every day.  Every day I find new things I am able to do.  And for all this, I am thankful!!!

By the way:  I type this with TWO HA NDS for the first time in 20 weeks !!!!!

It’s been a couple of weeks since I last blogged.  Therapy is still going slowly, but I do see progress everyday.  I had a dream last night that I could dribble a basketball … kind of sad that is a dream topic!!!

I was thankful too be able to participate in the wedding of Merrette Lane and Matt Dowdell this weekend.  It was at the Galllery on Hilton Head Island, a great outdoor venue overlooking the waterway.  It was really cool and well-done!

And so now, finally, I can get back into somewhat of a routine!!  A couple of months of physical therapy and things should be even more normal!!!