One Pastor's Perspective

Just after my last update on Dad, the game changed … significantly.  Dad had a recheck with his neurosurgeon and now there is a discussion about putting the shunt BACK IN.  WOW!

A little over a year ago, the same doctor and I had a discussion about why the shunt COULD NOT go back in.  His subdural hemotomas were a result of the shunt, one of the unknown side effects of putting it in.  The doctor told me then if we put it back in and Dad had another episode like this, it would most assuredly kill him.  Now we are talking about putting it in????

Wow, I’m confused.  And I’m asking friends to pray for us to have wisdom.  And we are seeking a second opinion.  Please pray for Mom and Dad.  If this is the right thing, we’ll do it … but I’m going to be from Missouri on this one.

Here is the latest, as I understand it:

We had a GREAT weekend visit with Mom and Dad last weekend.  It was the first in a long time that I didn’t feel like he’d taken a step back … With that written, on Sunday he was very weak.  He is always tired after we visit, because he doesn’t go to bed until late Friday night and refuses to take a nap on Saturday.  But this time it was different.  Mom had to call EMS because he couldn’t even get up.

After spending most of the evening and early morning in the ER at Greenville Memorial, he was diagnosed with a severe urinary tract infection, given some IV antibiotics, and sent home …  via ambulance!  Monday was a pretty good day.  Tuesday was not so good … Dad has to be patient and allow the medicine to do its job.

Betty Moore-Bell told me the biggest challenges Dad will face with his current health will be UTIs.  She was correct!!  I’m just praying today for a quick recovery.  Hope you will join me in that!!

Deep down inside there was this fear … Looking back I realize how bad last Christmas was for the Wikes.  On Christmas night, 2009, Dad’s downhill slide began.  He entered Greenville Memorial Hospital not to be discharged February.  From there, he was at the Cottages of Brushy Creek (which is a GHS rehab facility) until the end of April.  So, in other words, Dad left his house on Christmas night 2009 and did not return until the end of April, 2010.  As Christmas came closer, there was this fear.  I felt it most when we left to go to my mother-in-law’s house for Christmas, which was where I was last year when all of this began to unfold.

Although it was a short trip, it was a good one.  I am so thankful for another Christmas WITH Dad.  Physically he is doing okay.  There will always be mental challenges, due to the nature of his disease (NPH).  These challenges mostly revolve around his memory and physical abilities.  But, again, I’m just glad we had a good, uneventful Christmas.

We had to rush back for Krissy’s surgery.  She broke her nose at least three times in her childhood.  Years ago, the doctor told us we had to wait until she was 19 or so to fix it because of growth plate issues.  Her number came up on that one this past Tuesday.  Unlike Diana’s surgery, we didn’t keep this one a secret.  We didn’t buy a billboard and broadcast it, either.  She is doing well … still in a considerable amount of pain, but she is making it.  Before the surgery, her septum was blocked 100% on one side and 90% on the other — NO WONDER SHE DOESN’T SLEEP!!!

Several months ago I made a promise. A promise I kept this weekend. My niece graduated from Abilene Christian University on Friday night and my mom wanted to attend. So, she and my little sis (affectionately known as “Wheeze”) flew down to Dallas and attended together. My family spent Friday and Saturday in Easley watching Dad.

To quote Chuck Kelley’s favorite Hebrew expression, “WOW!”. Another word would be INTENSE. There were great moments and really tough ones. My dad is very dependent on my mom, and not just for care. There is something about their emotional bond that is really good. And strong. That is wonderful, but it also complicates some of the necessary actions and decisions. But we will make it through!!!

Today I have a much deeper appreciation for my mom, for EBC peeps like Linda Belcher, Martha Ham, Walter Miller, and many others. And I always suspected that my mom was Wonder Woman … Now I KNOW it’s true!

23 years ago today I did the best thing I’ve ever done, next to accepting Christ as my Savior!!  I married my sweetheart, Diana Lynne Duncan!  Some said we were too young … and maybe we were.  But here we are, 23 years later, still in love and still goin strong!!

I definitely got the better end of this bargain … When she married me, I was a computer programmer in an up-and-growing company.  She never bargained for the pastor’s wife gig and all the heartaches that come with it.  But when we surrendered to this, we did it together.  And she gives it her all in everything she does for the Lord.  And she doesn’t complain when we miss holidays with our families … or when the phone calls come at weird times (sometimes with really strange reasons) … or when the money is what it is.  Much like the Energizer Bunny, she just keeps on going and going!!

There is so much more that I could write, but I think she’d enjoy it more if I told her face-to-face!!

I am thankful for so many things … One of the greatest this year is another Thanksgiving with my dad and mom.  We drove up last Tuesday after church and didn’t come home until close to the end of the debacle called the Clemson / USC game on Saturday.

As I reflect on the week, a few things occur to me:

1.  My trips home consist of me working non-stop to get projects done at the house.  Whenever I slow down, I crash.  Nothing wrong with that, because I have to get this stuff done when I have time and time is at a premium.

2.  Its kind of surreal to sit back and think about all that Dad and I did together around that house and now I am doing this stuff and he can’t help.  Dad built this house.  Literally.  He only contracted a couple of things out and did 99% of the work himself.  Mom, Donna, Elaine and I helped, but he did most of the work.  To sit back and think about the things I am doing to the house now without him kind of stinks.

3.  Physically, Dad isn’t doing bad at all.  But I see the dementia increasing every time I go home.

4.  I fried 1 turkey this year and 3 turkey breasts.  I am glad Dad taught me how to do it, but again, kind of surreal to do this without him.

But, again, I am thankful to still have him here.  And I worry about Mom.  She is working so hard and pushing herself beyond limits.  Praying for them hard everyday.

In the middle of the minefield I’ve been in lately, I talked to Mom last night.  Not so good news from outpatient rehab:  Dad is not making progress, not meeting his goals.  They cannot justify his continuing in rehab.  He has a few more weeks and will have to stop.  We can see small blessings and results, but he is just not meeting the requirements to continue.  What a downer.

Mom is so close to the situation that it’s hard for her to see these things.  He really is not making vast improvement.  Plus, I KNOW she feels she holds the glimmer of hope as much for her as for him.  Please pray for my dad, Don Wike, and for my mom, Janet Wike, in this rough time.